In the Dream Where My Mother Dies and I’m Sent to Live With Her Ghost

In the dream where my mother dies
and I’m sent to live with her ghost
my mother wears only one sweater
and it’s not even my favorite.

I want to buy a new sweater for my new ghost
mother but she says what’s the point. No one
is going to see her anyway. No one but me.

Besides, she’s lost her love of shopping. She floats
indifferent through the food court of our favorite
mall, slipping through the cracks in clearance
racks, she lets the coupons I’ve clipped arc
like feathers as they filter through
her foggy hands.

I try to show her photos of my father or
photos of vacations or photos of my son smiling
at the zoo. The ghost of my mother sighs and
says she’s forgotten all these things. She
only wants to sit at the window and watch
our old oak tree abandon its leaves.

In the dream where my mother dies
and I’m sent to live with her ghost
there’s a deep sadness always in my throat.
It clings there like a pad of rich cream I can’t
seem to swallow down. It’s the sadness
of an older sadness
awakening.

I stand behind my ghost mother at the window.
In its reflection I watch her cloudy ghost eyes
and realize it was the same way
with my grandfather. The reaching for a hand
I could never seem to clasp, the soul rising from
the body like steam from asphalt after a summer rain,
no way to trap it, no way
to convince it to stay.

But my ghost mother won’t hear it. It’s not the same,
completely different, she says. My grandfather
became a ghost first and died
so many, too many, years later.

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10 Comments Add yours

  1. momknowsbest15 says:

    I love how this poem talks about something sad in a comforting way. I hope this dream does not come true for you.

    Like

  2. Your dream sounds like some of the crazy dreams that my daughter has. Hopefully your dream does not come true!

    Like

  3. robin rue says:

    That is a lovely poem! You are a very talented writer.

    Like

  4. Wow! Your dream sounds like some of the dreams that I have! Thanks for sharing and you are a very talented writer!

    Like

  5. emsry14 says:

    I love this poem. It almost has a dark tone but not in the typical sense.

    Like

  6. What a cool, dark yet light, poem! Keep up the good writing! Xx-Doran @HauteBeautyGuide

    Like

  7. Wow. I’ve never had a dream like that, but I know the feeling of having a dream with a deep sadness in your throat 😦

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  8. Anyone reading this would be choked by emotions. This reminds me of the Mom, who is now with Our Creator. I realized I missed her so much and I hope she can visit me even in my dreams.

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  9. Lovely poem. And very emotional.
    Dreams tells us what we should do for our future. It is our choice to follow the path or make our own.

    Like

  10. MakeItWithMissy says:

    What an awful dream to have! You described it so beautifully though, as usual. Your posts are always great.

    Like

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